That's a line from one of the emails I sent out mocking the hunger strike. I picked some ridiculous reason to go on a strike of my own, and then sent out periodic updates about my health to the dorm. I won't post those emails, since they're full of inside jokes. Anyway, some of the hunger strike supporters got really mad and denounced my cruelty (see the classic quotation under my blog's title!). Feeling chastened, this is the apology I sent out in response. It comes from the heart.
Look, I’m really sorry, everybody! Gaby and Aria are right. I was just looking to have some Cabot Open fun to distract me from my paper, but it was wrong of me to trivialize the legitimate suffering and sacrifice of the hunger strikers. It was never my intention to belittle their cause – after all, it must be incredibly serious and important, or they wouldn’t be having a hunger strike over it! It was wrong of me to try and make light of hunger strikes. I should have known better; I was there that infamous night when Carrot Top was beaten near to death by an enraged mob at the premiere of ‘Gandhi’; I have no excuse. The truth is, I have been trying to overcome my insensitivity for a long time. It is not an easy struggle, not something that can happen overnight – I have been fighting it for years. Yet nothing I have tried – not the counseling, not the trust falls, not even repeated viewings of ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’ – has succeeded in warming my cold heart. Thus, it is in desperation that I am announcing a new, far more drastic measure: I have decided to go on a hunger strike to protest my own earlier, incredibly insensitive hunger strike. I know this may seem to some an unorthodox gesture, but I feel that only the most extreme acts can do justice to the severity of the situation at hand. After careful consultation with my doctors, I have decided to end my first hunger strike early and begin the new one right away, as I am told that stringing two full-length hunger strikes together in a row could result in hospitalization. This is a difficult time for me, and, regardless of what you think of my cause, I hope I can have your support as I face this new challenge. Maybe, just maybe, if the entire community gets behind me, I will be able to hunger strike some sense into me.
My friends ask me how i can put up with Harvard if I hate it so much. Well, it's true, I don't love it here. But it has its little joys. And if I didn't go here, I wouldn't be able to enjoy one of my absolute favorite past-times: pissing off pompous, full-of-themselves Harvard students!