So, after the failure of the students' hunger strike, the security guards themselves are set to go on strike. No, not a hunger strike (they're not crazy!), just a regular strike.
They're all going to walk off the job, and so, in a dispute over a two-dollar raise, the entire university community will be placed in perhaps life-threatening, extreme dange -- oh, no, wait, Harvard security guards don't actually do anything. The Harvard University Police Department and the city cops keep us safe, the security guards sit on their butts all day and watch T.V. Well, that's not entirely true - they also supervise the mail room! Packages will be stolen left and right (well, more packages - the guards don't even get up off their butts to check to see if we're taking the mail that belongs to us), cats and dogs will live together, it'll be chaos!
No, absolutely nothing will happen and nobody will even notice that they're not there (well, the Nielsen ratings for All My Children might drop - it isn't still sweeps week, is it?).* The hunger strike backfired because people saw that the strikers were insane, and this strike will backfire even worse.
*note: upon further reflection, it was wrong of me to imply that soap opera ratings will plummet if the security guards won't be at their posts. Naturally, since they're on strike, they'll be able to watch their stories at home.
UPDATE: Thank you to Armavirumque for the link!
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