Shrinkage; or, modern liberalism is now officially beyond satire

So there was quite the kerfuffle on campus this past weekend. A bunch of people were out on the lawn on Saturday, having a barbecue and apparently blowing horns or something (I wasn't around, I can't vouch for any of this) and making a bunch of noise. Someone from my dorm actually called the police on them, which is ridiculous (why couldn't he just at least try first and go up to the people and ask them to quiet down? This is a post for another day, and I don't want Treacher on my back, but there are more and more signs every day of the frightening modern phenomenon of people being conditioned from birth to just curl up in a ball under the desk and wait for the authorities rather than help themselves).

Anyway, this is when things started to get out of hand. Because the people on the lawn were black (turns out it was the joint spring barbecue of the Harvard Black Men's Forum and the Association of Black Harvard Women, two groups who passionately oppose racism of any kind and who just happen to form groups based entirely on skin color because they love diversity), and they got really mad that the cops were called on them (indeed, they had been doing nothing wrong, and the cops went away and the bbq went on). I must be honest and and say that racism was probably a factor in the incident, since drunken white kids are really loud on that lawn on a regular basis and nobody ever calls the cops on them. But the whole thing has gotten dramatically blown out of proportion by all the usual people who have nothing better to do with their lives than exploit grievances and set up community meetings, so the past two days have been filled with discussion groups, open forums, student panels, and everything else that's in the liberal handbook under 'How To Savor That Delicious Righteous Outrage For As Long As Possible, And Bore Whitey Into Submission While You're At It!' Which brings me, at long last, to the point of this post.

Turns out that the discussions, heartfelt as they may have been, were, amazingly, not powerful enough to wipe out racism once and for all. So the campaign continues, and since hunger strikes are so last week, the offended people have come up with a brand new tactic: running around naked.

Primal Scream is this stupid Harvard tradition when, the night before finals start, people run around the yard naked, screaming, and acting like fools. Who knows, it might once have been a fun way for stressed-out students to let off steam (though I doubt it), but, these days, well, it's pretty much the same as every other night. Except now it's worse, because now it has become an occasion for the students to protest racism and celebrate diversity. Since, for liberals, a person is defined by their skin color, i.e. their body, it makes total sense to them that running around naked is the perfect way to assert your worth.

Here are actual excerpts from the email the community received today:

"Please join us as we take a stand for inclusion. For celebration of difference. And for acknowledgment that making Harvard a welcoming space for all is everyone's responsibility. Wednesday night, at 11:30pm, stand with us at University Hall as we celebrate the tradition of Primal Scream by declaring,

:: MY SKIN BELONGS AT HARVARD ::

Stand with us as we bare ourselves (as much as we each feel comfortable) and push for real change. We envision a Harvard where all students enjoy an equal sense of belonging. Where students of color are not only appreciated for their contribution to diversity, but are also respected as full-fledged members of the Harvard community, by the Harvard community. [...] This year at Primal Scream, bare yourself for a better Harvard."

Hilarious. "My Skin Belongs At Harvard." My mind, my soul? Screw 'em. But don't you dare question the crucial contribution to diversity made by my skin! Oh, and look at my dick. Stop it, stop averting your eyes. I demand that you show respect to the full fledge of my member of color!

The part I cut out is their list of demands. It's mostly the usual stuff (more support for ongoing initiatives, more ethnic diversity, better tools to proactively address racial inclusiveness, one white scalp, etc.). Except one cheerfully sinister line really did creep me out: "Consistent opportunities for more meaningful dialogue -- not just with the students who already attend discussions on race, but for everyone affected by race in the Harvard community. And that means all of us!" In other words, mandatory racial sensitivity training for the entire community. I just hope that, if it does come to that, we'll at least be allowed to keep our clothes on.

My reaction to this whole ridiculous mess? Well, it's time to add The Dawn Patrol to the blogroll!